Friday, August 20, 2010

Some unsolicited advice for men

This may seem like an unusual post…hell, it is an unusual post, but it’s something that’s been on my mind for awhile. Put it in the ‘for what it’s worth’ category.

During my time in Peru I’ve seen some human misery stories that could have and should have been avoided. In my opinion they were caused by immaturity, haste and illusory expectations.

I have been in Chiclayo for over two years and absolutely love it. For reasons that don’t need to be gone into now, the lifestyle that has evolved for me with my wife Maribel in Peru fits my temperament and personality like a glove. There are others who share a similar viewpoint. And then there are those who will tell you they can’t wait to leave this desolate, god-forsaken hell hole. Which is the real Peru? That answer depends on what you bring with you and what you expect. Peru is Peru with apologies to no one. We are all free to see it and make of it what we will, and then to praise or condemn it if we choose to. And we’re also free to use our heads to do a bit of thinking before packing our bags and buying a ticket to Lima.

Honestly, some of the characters who show up here are an embarrassment to me. One was recently banned from a coffee shop because of his annoying mannerisms. I don’t know if these guys were loose cannons back home, or if there’s something about Peru that causes them to act as they do, but I do know they act and look like fish out of water; completely unprepared for the realities of this part of the planet. If you’re a misfit and/or loser back home, chances are you’ll be a misfit and/or loser here too. Peru has no cure for you. Peru is not the wild, anything goes frontier outpost you may imagine it to be, though there is still enough of a taste of life in the raw to suit me. And it’s not fantasy land, where the natives strew flowers in your path and fall to their knees to pay homage to the gringo who has chosen to grace their shores. In fact, if you decide to come here without doing your homework first, you’re setting yourself up for failure, and Peru is likely to chew you up and spit you out before you know what happened.

And then of course there is the subject of male seeking female.

If you’re one of those guys looking for a hot Latina chica trophy, my advice is to stay home and grow up. There are still some naive women here who believe that because a guy is a gringo he is automatically educated, intelligent, honest and has a sincere heart, but they wise up quickly when confronted with a phony. They’re not stupid. And if you’re expecting a sex toy servant, you are in for one grande surprise. Respect and kindness are high on their list of desirable qualities in a man, and if they’re not genuinely present, well…neither will you be for very long. Of the gringo/Peruvian relationships that I am personally familiar with in Peru, slightly over 50% have failed or are presently in trouble. If I’m not mistaken, that is about the same percentage existing in the States, which proves the following – men and women are the same the world over. Building and maintaining a good relationship requires compatibility, honesty, respect, compromise, constant communication and lots of hard work. It’s no different in Peru or with Peruvian women except it requires even more work because of the cultural differences.

Guys…if you’re considering a move to Peru or a possible relationship with a Peruvian, you’ve got to understand that Peru is not Shangri-La, nor are the women oversexed Inca princesses waiting to serve your every whim. Save yourself some money and misery…take a long, hard, critical look at Peru, the woman you may be interested in, and most importantly yourself before entering into a situation that may prove difficult to get out of.

This concludes our advice segment. We will now return you to your normal programming.

Tom

5 comments:

  1. Hi Tom:
    what do you mean when you said: "the woman you may be interested in, and most importantly yourself before entering into a situation that may prove difficult to get out of"????? Are there any problems?
    See you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "slightly over 50% have failed or are presently in trouble. If I’m not mistaken, that is about the same percentage existing in the States, which proves the following – men and women are the same the world over."

    Maybe it proves that about 50% of us gringos are jerks, no matter where we go? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. well said Tom

    Jim

    ReplyDelete