Actually I don’t think it’s possible to
step on a pigeon. They may not be the smartest bird around but they’re really
fast and awfully good at getting out of harm’s way.
The pigeons I’m talking about were our informal
dining companions at a Miraflores restaurant in Lima. Miraflores is an upscale
section of Lima, with modern skyscraper offices and apartments; the Larcomar
Mall overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and 5 star hotels and restaurants. There
are sections of Miraflores that are not so fashionable…like the restaurant we and
the pigeons were eating lunch in. I’m not talking about a quaint sidewalk café.
These pigeons were inside the building, happily availing themselves of the crumbs
dropped by careless diners while avoiding the comings and goings of waiters and
customers. Sitting at a table aware that there were pigeons underneath I tried
not to move my feet, keeping them firmly planted on the floor but soon learned
from watching other customers that there was no need to be concerned.
During our meal my attention was drawn from
the pigeons to an animated discussion at the cash register between a waiter and
a dissatisfied customer; both of them older men. The exchange went something like
this:
Customer – “The piece of fish you gave me
was small. I will pay only 8 soles ($2.34)”
Waiter – “You will pay 11 soles ($3.23)
which is the price on the menu, not what you want to pay!”
Customer – “I would pay 11 soles for a real meal, not what you gave me!”
Waiter – “Where can you get fish for only
11 soles?!”
Customer – “Not here!…the piece you gave me was smaller than this crumpled up
napkin!”
Waiter – “Senor you exaggerate!”
Customer – “Argh!!” This utterance is usually accompanied by a gesture of disgust
which the customer performed flawlessly. The hand, starting at about waste high
is rapidly raised with a half circular motion to slightly over head height,
with the back of the hand being displayed to the object of disgust.
Waiter - “Argh!!” The waiter did a commendable job with the same gesture.
Customer - “Argh!!” The customer threw 11 soles on the counter and while turning
to leave executed the dismissive gesture, which is pretty much the opposite of
the disgust gesture. Starting above the head, the hand is rapidly lowered with
a half circular motion to waist height, with the palm facing the object being
dismissed.
Waiter – (shouting at the rapidly disappearing
customer) “Senor please!...a little
respect!!”
Pigeons and customers ignored the whole
thing. I enjoy people watching, always trying to understand why we act as we do
and found it fascinating.
During our five days in Lima we also ate at
some non-pigeon restaurants. Rigoletto’s in Miraflores is one of them. It is
ranked #17 of some 1400 restaurants rated by Trip Advisor and lives up to its
billing (interestingly it is 3 blocks from the pigeon restaurant). Ambience, service
and food were excellent. What made it even better was the pleasant conversation
we had with M and Z, whom we met for the first time. (Let me explain why I am
using initials instead of names. The internet is a great communication tool but
it also has become a playground for psychopaths who get their jollies by harassing
people. I don’t want my friends to have to put up with that crap.)
It was a near perfect lunch, and I say near
perfect only because of one nit-picky point. The waiter put my napkin on my
lap. Don’t put my napkin on my lap. If I want my napkin on my lap I’ll put it
there. If you put my napkin on my lap you’re telling me that I look like some
sort of bozo who’s going to spill stuff on himself. I don’t spill stuff on
myself. I may drop a fork, or spray my companions with food because I tend to
talk while chewing but I don’t spill stuff. I may also knock over a glass but to cover up
I pretend I did it deliberately to show my extreme displeasure with something.
When the waiter comes to clean up I say, “Garcon…look at the color of those
peas! They’re too green and spoil the appearance of the salad!” or, “Don’t ever
put beets in my salad! People who like beets probably like sucking blood in
Transylvania!” I don’t know if my act fools anyone but I feel that it may somewhat
deflect the focus from my ineptitude.
One day we ate at the Salòn China
restaurant in China Town. It is a very large, pleasant appearing restaurant
with a dozen white-shirted waiters at your elbow with anything you need. The unlimited
refills of chicha morada were welcome on this hot afternoon. For lunch we chose
the buffet. Both of us had two full plates and commented on the quality of taste
and appearance of every offering. The next day Maribel had an extreme headache with
nausea. I had diarrhea. Not saying our problems were due to the restaurant; not
saying they weren’t. Whatever the cause, that day was un dia perdido.
We did more than just eat at restaurants. For
example, we almost saw the exhibits in the national museum in San Borja. You know
that sinking feeling you get when you’re approaching a major attraction like a
theme park or museum, and you don’t see any people going in or coming out? I knew there was no point to walking up the
stairs to the main entrance but we did it anyway. The security guard told us
there were no lights and wouldn’t be for the next two days. As an alternative
activity we phoned some friends and asked if they’d like to join us for lunch
at the Plaza San Miguel where we hadn’t been in a couple of years, but were
told that the mall is undergoing major renovations and is “…not a good place to
be right now.” We salvaged the day by going to some friend’s apartment in the
afternoon and watched the Packers defeat the Redskins. After the game we looked
at photos of their recent trip to England.
Other friends we visited were D and G. D is
a mining engineer and G is a clinical psychologist. We’ve known them for several
years and always enjoy being with them. They’re the kind of people you can
discuss politics, religion and family secrets with without having to worry
about offending, being offended or judged.
With the exception of the lost day it was a nice
visit. Hopefully next time around the national museum will have lights and we
can see what we missed.
Chiclayo and most Peruvian cities do not
have the infrastructure to handle lots of rain. We lack storm sewers and road
engineering that would aid in proper drainage. As a result we’ll have some streets
with mini lakes until the sun and evaporation dries them…in about 3 or 4 days.
